Dear familia, I just realized that I wrote ``familia´´ instead of family. I know that I should only write positive things; however, I want to express all my feelings that I have been experiencing here on the mission. My Woes Well, this week was terrible emotionally. Let´s just say that everything seemed to build up and it really took a toll on me. First of all, I´m sick of being sick! Every other week, I get some kind of sickness. This week, it´s just the common cold, but it affects my accent, spanish, breathing, and eating. The cold! It is freezing. My ears and nose gets burnt during the day, then when the sun goes down, they start peeling from the cold. My shower right now is barely sputting any water, and the power always seems to go out when I start my shower so it turns ice cold. The smoke from the cars, it is so pollutiony here. I blow my nose and it comes out black. The language still. I understand almost everything said. But I still cannot fully express the sentiments and desires of my heart with the people. The culture. Everytime I walk into a store or on the streets or really anywhere, all the heads turn my way. Then they try making fun of me (sometimes in Quechua) being white, mormon, or handsome. The food. This doesn´t bother me as much, but sometimes I wish I had normal food. However, the thing that had bothered me the most was other missionaries. I´m tired of being wasquiar, I forgot what it means in English. It´s like reprimanded, or ``they´re giving it to me´. Everytime I do one thing wrong, we talk about it. For the zone meeting, I was the reason why we talked about a subject. This also goes for every district meeting. We talk about what I lack because my compy is the district leader. Then for companionship study, we always talk about the things I do wrong. I swear he purposely looks for something I do wrong during the day just so he can ``teach me´´ or reallly tell me that I´m doing it wrong. I don´t know if you guys understand or not. So basically, I felt like crap. It´s terrible being humilliated publicly and in private. I realized I don´t work like that. I need compliments every now and then to build up my confidence. When my confidence is down, I will never teach my best. But I would like to say that I had hope. I like the word hope. In Spanish, to hope is esperar. However, it means more than to hope. It also means to wait. When we hope, we have to wait it out. Also, it means to expect. So, when we have hope, we wait patiently and humbly during our trials with an expectation that it will get better. This is what I did. I held my tongue when I wanted to strike back aggressively in my defense (james 3). I tried applying the things they said to me. And would say that my week ended great. My comp talked to me one night for 2 hours. He talked peacefully about many things that he held dear and what he learned on the mission and what he expects for me. He told me that I was one of the most humble people he knew, especially from the other gringos and also he said that I was his second best friend in his whole mission (next to an argentine elder). I also recieved a letter with a pack of snickers of my trainer. He told me that he learned many things from me and I was his best friend he had. Sometimes you can´t see the light at the end of the tunnel. But if you keep pushing farther, knowing that there will be light, you will eventually reach it. -Elder Walker Mom - I need a couple more spray n wash thingys for my clothes. My white shirts get black fast... Ryan - Basícament, estoy enseñandote en la forma de una chica. ¿Que es lo que te interes o te animo del evangelio?